Remember the Nursery Rhyme, “Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. Guess I’ll go eat worms?” Just as the word “no” may be a child’s very first word, the feeling of self-pity also enters our life at a very early age. Parents lovingly smile at an episodic display of self-pity in the life of a three-year-old; however, this can develop into an unattractive and unbecoming trait as we grow older. Can we be honest with ourselves as we explore this trait in our own lives? Let’s do it. See if the guidelines, 10 Ways to Overcome Self Pity and Live Your Best Life below are helpful to you. We will see these points can help us all.
10 Ways to Overcome Self Pity
1. Practice Gratitude
Life is a gift. Every day is a gift. Starting each day by being thankful is a great plan. You may even want to make a list of things for which to be grateful. As we turn our thoughts daily towards being thankful, we will identify more and more reasons that should prompt our spirit of gratitude.
We can move from impoverished to abundantly rich by simply practicing the art of gratitude. We may replace the list of reasons that we feel disadvantaged, needy, disregarded, or simply overlooked. Flood your mind with awareness of your assets, your talents, your loved ones, your abilities, and your mind that has the capability of assimilating these thoughts.
2. Think of the Positive and Lovely Things
Following through on the practice of gratitude, let your thoughts be on the pure and lovely things in life. We are what we think. Perhaps we need to purge our minds of dark and depressing thoughts. Yes, we need to know what is going on in this world; however, we must not dwell on the dark side, especially things over which we have no control. It can well consume us.
Concentrate on the good and helpful things. See where you can be a part of bringing light and joy to others. Contact benevolent groups and add your support and efforts to correct what you can and to assist where there is real need for material, emotional or spiritual support. As it has been said, “Be a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem.”
3. Move Your Body
You may have discovered, as have I, that just getting up and moving this body makes a huge difference in our mental and emotional life, as well as being a physical recharger. Force yourself to lace up those walking shoes and do a brisk walk – outdoors if possible. Breathe in the fresh air, take note of the beauty of nature. Be aware of the changes that quickly take place in your body. Stretch a bit. Do the basic exercises. Breathe deeply. Shoulders back, chin level, engage your core muscles. Even ten minutes of body awareness and movement can switch on a positive power that will brighten your day.
4. Recognize the Negative Thoughts
Is your mind filled with news updates 24/7? Do you live and work with people who are not only negative but also spew their negativity incessantly? This is a depressing atmosphere. We need to recognize this cloud that surrounds us and tries to darken every part of our life. We can choose what to dwell on. Scripture says to think on these things – not try to – but to do so.
Think on the good, the pure, the uplifting. We must take control of our minds and our bodies, or we may discover that we too have begun to look like a dark cloud, blown around helplessly, controlled by a world of despair. Perhaps we are adding to the doom and gloom.
Is this our choice, rather than choosing to live a joyful and beautiful life, enhancing the world around us? No, I choose joy. And I love that God teaches that we can make choices. Let’s take that first mental step as we take that physical walk today.
5. Embrace Happiness
Have you been taught not to be too happy? That true happiness may elude you? That being happy is selfish when there is so much despair and want? Having known both ends of that spectrum, may I suggest that we be happy and help others be happy whenever we can.
There will be times when circumstances overwhelm us, and times when we succumb to periods of having to overcome broken dreams and disappointments. Experiencing these times that enter all our lives at some point, provides a time for us to be the recipient of understanding and encouragement from others. We come out on the other side, filled with gratitude and, hopefully, will allow the warmth of good times, of being loved, of being consoled, make joy and happiness again a part of our lives.
Run, dance, sing – be joyous. You are not alone. Reach out, step up. Accept the encouragement when you need it. True happiness does not need everything to be perfect. Happiness is giving. Happiness is also a magnet that draws other good things and good folk to us. Can I have Joy in my life? Yes, you can.
6. Kick Complaining to the Curb
The most exhausting type of person we encounter is the one who constantly complains. We avoid them. They drag everyone down. Few people want to hear every dismal piece of our lives. And most certainly, not over and over.
Instead, determine what is the cause for which you complain. Do you need to correct anything? Should you make a move away from the situation or person? Or simply improve your method of dealing with the situation?
Perhaps we need to get help from someone gifted in steering our thoughts a productive pattern. Clarify the complaint: Is it yours to change? Is there a way to improve the situation? Is it a rather universal type of problem that all of us experience? For example, does the wind invariably blow harder on your side of the street? Does the traffic only slow you? Are you the only person experiencing some of the chronic aches and pains as you age?
Share a positive or funny story rather than repeating a daily litany of bad things in your life. You will find that when not chronically complaining, your listeners will be more attentive and sympathetic at the times you do have a more compelling complaint.
7. Flood Your Mind with What is Good
There is so much beauty and goodness in this world. We all share the beauty of nature. Let it flood your soul. I love to sit on my patio and listen for the birds to sing. We can learn to shut out the noise of traffic and trash trucks when we listen for the sounds of the wild. I can hear the laughter and shouts of children at recess from a school four blocks away. Children playing always make me smile.
We can choose to receive by text or email a daily message of hope and grace that permeates our being and cleans up our thought process. Or we can take a few minutes reading God’s Word and dwelling on the message of love and forgiveness that is offered to each one of us. What a way to start the day!
8. Help Others
This may be the quickest way to improve our day. Helping others gives a greater return every time. Whether it is paying ahead for someone at the drive through, holding a hand of someone experiencing loss and grief, feeding the hungry, serving at a non-profit, or funding a community service – through giving, we become the recipients of joy and satisfaction. We have helped a fellow traveler in a hard world. Our mind is no longer only on our own needs, but we experience the warmth with which genuine serving engulfs us. We are a part of something larger than ourselves. We are community!
We cannot run from ourselves. Wherever I go – there I am. We may ask How to Find Peace of Mind in This World?
Perhaps we need to spend a little time getting to know ourselves better. What is making me tick? Am I on Empty? The demands of our lives tend to drain us and inhibit our emotional and spiritual growth. It is more and more difficult to bounce back – even though we know resilience is essential in being able to keep an even keel.
As we meditate, we might use this as a time to empty our minds of the evil thoughts that we entertain. However, a vacuum will then be created and will be filled quickly – make sure it is with thoughts on How to be Content and Happy with Your Life. A cathartic time. A time of spiritual growth through communionwith the God who loves us and restores us in the name of Jesus the Christ.
10. Move Toward the Light
We can know these things and yet continue to wallow in self-pity. We need to respond. The answer is ours to believe and act upon. We have limited time on this earth to become the person we are meant to be. Limited time to meet the challenges and experience the joys. We can wallow in self-pity and unbelief. Or we can move toward the Light.
Just as in the botanical world where the sunlight gives life, in the spiritual world, the Son of God gives the light. As a plant leans toward the sunlight, we are drawn to the Truth of God, the Light of the World, who is Jesus. When we allow God to take control, we are never alone. We find comfort and peace and joy. We have what we need to meet the challenges that come our way. We have strength to help others. We know humility so that we can be filled with the hope that transforms us.
If you would like to to know Jesus, we invite you to watch the GREAT NEWS FOR YOU Video on this page.