You may be struggling to survive after a deep hurt or a great loss in your life. Perhaps the pain of loss or rejection is relentlessly enshrouding your life. Here are 20 Ways to Let Go of the Pain in Your Life that may be helpful to you. Perhaps these will also encourage you to add other ideas that will help you move away from being stuck in the dark abyss of pain and loneliness and into a life filled with joy and light.
20 Ways to Let Go of the Pain in Your Life
1. Identify the Pain.
Pain or loss can magnify into a life of its own. It can shape and color our world. It can become our identity. It can stymie personal growth and cloud all relationships. It becomes larger and larger because it is constantly fed. We need to clearly identify the actual hurt, the loss, and the cause, lest it becomes an ominous and lingering tower of darkness on its own.
2. Are You a Victim?
No one enjoys the feeling of being a victim. There is no power, no comfort, and no growth in victimhood. We must realize that we cannot control the actions of others. Nor can we control devastating events and losses. However, we can learn to control our reactions.
The pain will lessen but may never leave completely. With the inner strength from the presence of God in our lives we grow stronger, and we find comfort and strength in His presence. We may never understand or completely forget. However, letting go of our hurt, and learning to welcome the presence of God into our lives, will help us shed the weakness of being the victim. Embracing that power to lead us out of the victim state and into the forgiven state, with an empowered relationship available through His mercy and grace, is a major restorative step. See this article to find out more about mercy and grace.
3. Do You Need to Deal Directly with this Foreboding Presence of Pain?
It begins with forgiveness. Learning to forgive is a daunting task. Forgiveness isn’t pretending it didn’t happen or hurt. That’s called lying. Forgiveness is a decision to release a debt regardless of how you feel, to choose to let it go. To truly forgive we must release the urge to exact payment from the other. We must relinquish the need to make them hurt as we were hurt or to feel what we felt. There is power in forgiveness.
4. Determine Why the Pain is Lingering.
Is the loss of a position, a friend, or perhaps a fortune, the ever-present dark cloud in your day? It is worth the effort to work through the detriment, assess the situation, deal with what can be corrected, and then let go of it. Negativity defeats us when we allow it to cloud our every day.
5. Stop Replaying the Tape and Feeding the Hurt.
That same hurt and terrible grief continues to rise to the top of our thoughts and feelings – and it seems so fresh daily. In the loss of a loved one, we may even fear that we will forget to mourn. Not so. We may have to put that ever-present pain into a closed room of our minds until a suitable time to revisit it. Some griefs are never gone, but we learn to choose appropriate times of revisiting and, hopefully, reduce the pain and increase the acceptance as we do. We struggle to look normal while we carry this time bomb of grief deep within. That is why grief recovery is called work – grief work. We must heal from the deepest point of our grief as we learn to move forward with our life.
6. Let Go of Bitterness.
Forgiving gives us the ability to grow – to make a new life. Rather than being bitter, we are transformed into a more compassionate person who is able to help others. Life is not over. We just must recover from the hurt, the disregard, the isolation involved. We can become bitter, or we can develop a sweet spirit as God heals us.
7. Become Future-Oriented – Believe in Yourself.
Set worthy goals. Improve your appearance. Be a positive person – a person that draws others. Make plans – even difficult plans that would take you to a position that you envision. Tomorrow is a word of hope. Tomorrow takes planning and commitment. The rewards are promising.
8. Determine How Not to Repeat the Same Situation.
How often we do not learn from our mistakes, our poor choices, our lack of commitment. We must be honest with ourselves. We may need to reshape our world of connections. We may need to alter our goals. We may need to recommit to a higher plane of living. Time to take a break, time to check our purpose and direction. Time to make adjustments, or it will be a repeat.
9. Dust the Ashes of a Broken Relationship From your Feet and Carry On.
Some relationships cannot be redeemed. They are dangerous and destructive. You saw the red flags, but you continued. Don’t look back. May we learn from our mistakes. Let yourself be renewed, make wise choices, and do not rush into a new relationship.
10. Choose a New Voice of Reason for Your Listening Ear.
We may be stuck in our downward spiral. Reach out to someone you admire for help and counseling. Join a small group in your church and identify someone who is grounded and approachable. Do not share your every hurt with every person – choose carefully with whom you confide. Seek a wise confidant to guide your thoughts.
11. Make New Friends.
Join a biking or walking group. Sign up for a course at a local college. Join a group at a local church that would be family to you. Take a painting class you have always wanted to try. Make yourself available for meetings or excursions without being pushy. Join in a pickup-type ball game at the park. Let the fun you emerge. Make a friend, be a friend. Develop character within. It takes a strong person to successfully navigate the roads of life.
12. Engage in a Working Volunteer Program.
I have found that volunteering in various ways with a non-profit organization is most rewarding. Being able to fill a void in someone’s life, providing for a need for the underserved, or helping a child improve reading skills – or basketball skills –takes us out of ourselves and helps us emerge to see the bigger world outside our closeted minds.
13. Join a Church Life Group
Find fellowship, fun, and food. Being accepted as you are, being welcomed with joy, and finding a group to pray for and with provides benefits that are huge and ongoing.
14. Get in Shape – Mentally and Physically.
Leave the poor beat-up rag doll look behind. Become a walker – daily. Physical exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins that improve our mental state. Our energy rebounds. It precipitates a welcomed sense of positivity and even changes our outward appearance to one of strength and energy. Both will produce a more attractive and competent you.
15. Sharpen Your Image.
Not only your outer look and dress. Let your new joy and hope radiate to allow you to gain more self-confidence, and portray the energy of success.
16. Sharpen Your Skills.
We all benefit from frequent study courses, growth groups, leadership skill curriculum courses, and the like. Stay updated on computer skills. Be ready to accept any challenge or opportunity.
17. Sharpen Your Mental Capacity and Understanding.
– not found in studies – but rather found in self-evaluation, honest self-searching, and confession. Determine who you are, set goals, and formulate a plan to make the necessary changes. It’s a growth season.
18. Give a Hand of Help to Others.
Nothing gives us more inner warmth than helping someone in need. Giving our time and attention to someone struggling makes us feel like human beings again. There is so much in you that the world needs. And when it is shared, our own world becomes a better place as well.
19. Make Plans
Make long range as well as detailed plans for the remainder of the year. There is hope in the tomorrows. Look forward, make plans, and follow through. Engage your calendar and appropriately space plans or goal-finishing times on it. Those drawing board plans of a future – a hope – an opportunity lay a foundation for emancipation as you work towards letting go and living abundantly.
20. And the Most Important and Profitable Plan:
Strengthen your relationship with God through prayer and Bible study. Find purpose in your life. When we accept Christ into our life, the power to fulfill our purpose for being radiates throughout. As we yield to His leading, we bring glory to God. The joy of being forgiven helps us leave the hurts in the dust as the power of God develops a Christlike character that will bring glory to God.
This is our ultimate goal and purpose.
Watch the video below to guide your thinking.
To be empowered by the Spirit of God, watch this video with an open mind and heart. Receive the gift of forgiveness and salvation, and experience peace and joy through the grace and the mercy of the Almighty God.