4 Qualities to Look for in a Spouse for a Happy Marriage

Most of us long for a happy and successful marriage. We don’t want to waste time dating the wrong kind of person. We certainly don’t want to end up suffering through the regret of divorce. We want to learn how to hold our marriages together and love a long and happy life with the one we love. Today we will be hearing from Craig Groeschel about the 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage. You will be glad you took a few minutes to read this is article

FAITHFUL ATTRACTION: TODAY WE WILL BE TALKING ABOUT THE FOLLOWING:

  1. 4 QUALITIES TO LOOK FOR IN A SPOUSE FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE
  2. HOW TO RECOGNIZE GODLY CHARACTER
  3. HOW TO BUILD GODLY TRUST
  4. HOW TO PRACTICE GODLY STANDARDS
  5. HOW TO ENCOURAGE YOUR SPOUSE
  6. HOW TO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE WITHOUT SACRIFICING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
  7. I WILL NOT COMPROMISE GOD’S STANDARDS
  8. DON’T PLAY HOUSE BEFORE MARRIAGE
  9. THE RESULT: SHE FEELS SPECIAL
  10. SHE FEELS SECURE
  11. MEN’S ROLE IN MARRIAGE IS TO GIVE HER SECURITY.
  12. YOU ARE HER PASTOR
  13. YOU ARE HER PROVIDER
  14. YOU ARE HER PROTECTOR
  15. IF YOU ARE SINGLE, WHAT ARE SOME OF GOD’S STANDARD’S YOU WILL IMPLEMENT IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE?
  16. NAME ONE OF YOUR BIGGEST INSECURITIES. WHAT DOES GOD’S WORD SAY TO YOUR INSECURITY?
  17. IF YOU ARE MARRIED, WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR GREATEST INSECURITIES?
  18. WHAT CAN YOUR SPOUSE DO TO MAKE YOU FEEL MORE SECURE?
  19. WHAT WAYS CAN YOU BETTER ENCOURAGE YOUR SPOUSE?
  20. FATAL ATTRACTION
  21. FAITHFUL ATTRACTION
  22. THE TRUTH ABOUT DATING APPS
  23. HOW TO ATTRACT YOUR MATE
  24. 4 QUALITIES TO LOOK FOR IN A SPOUSE
  25. YOUR NAME IS A GOOD NAME
  26. WHY DO THE BEST GIRLS GO FOR THE WORST GUYS?
  27. HOW DO YOU KNOW IF SOMEONE HAS GODLY CHARACTER?
  28. HOW TO PROTECT YOUR HEART
  29. MAKE SURE THEY HAVE A GREAT REPUTATION
  30. MAKE SURE HE OR SHE IS TRUSTWORTHY
  31. REVEALINGYOUR INSECURITIES
  32. WOMEN ARE INSECURE ABOUT THEIR BODIES
  33. FEAR OF REJECTION

WE INVITE YOU TO BEGIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD THROUGH HIS SON JESUS. WATCH THIS VIDEO TO FIND JESUS.

Thank you for joining us for week #1 of the steamy series called “God, Love, Sex”. Grab your Bibles and turn to Song of Solomon, just go to the Old Testament and hit Psalms, and turn right and you will find Song of Solomon. 

Today we are going to start in Chapter 1, Song of Solomon. Before we do, I just want to give credit to Tommy Nelson, he is really the master teacher on the Song of Solomon, I want to tell him thank you for his work and research and how it has impacted my life and I will give it to you from my perspective. Keep reading 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage.

Fatal Attraction

How many of you remember in 1980s the movie that came out called Fatal Attraction? Who remembers that movie? Aargh. I hated it. Especially the part where they killed the bunny rabbit. It was nasty. Anyway…rather than a fatal attraction today, we are going to talk about a faithful attraction. 

Faithful Attraction

We are going to look at a married couple who glances back and sees the Godly qualities that attracted them to one another. Before we start though, I know so many people today, some of my single friends who were searching for the perfect someone, a lot of people are having some success or limited success through different dating agencies, online, different sites, newspaper ads, and I wanna just unpack for a minute some of the stuff that people say in these ads about themselves. They are not always completely truthful. And so let me just give you the behind the scenes truth in case you want to meet someone that way. Keep reading 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage.

The Truth About Dating Apps

For example, guys, if you ever see a woman who says she is 40ish, what she means is she is 48. You just need to know that. If a guy says he’s 40ish, what that means is that he is 52. Okay, and he is seeking a 25-year-old. Ladies, you can do better than that. 

Maybe you’ve come across a guy who says this, he says, I’m emotionally stable. Just the fact that he claims that ought to be a red flag for you, but what that really means is that means that he hasn’t had a VPO filed against him in the last 90 days. You need to know the truth about this. 

What She Says and What He Says

Guys, if you ever see a lady who claims this, she claims I love good conversation. What that means is that she never shuts up. Blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah, blah, blah, blah. Those of you ladies that are mad at me right now, you are the one. Okay? Sorry. [ha, ha, ha] 

If you ever see a guy who says I’m huggable, what that means is that he needs to lose 40 pounds and he’s got more hair on his back than a grizzly bear. If you ever see a girl who says she is romantic, that means she looks better by candlelight. [Laughter] Sorry about that, the truth hurts, doesn’t it. [Ha, ha.] Let’s dive in to day, faithful attraction. 

How To Attract Your Mate

We are going to look at Solomon and a Shulamite woman. We are going to look at the lover and the beloved. We are going to look at a married couple who looks back at the faithful qualities that attracted them to the Godlike relationship. We will start in verse 2. This verse, I’ve had my wife memorize in five different translations. 

The Word of God says, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth for your love is more delightful than wine.” 

Keep reading 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage.

4 Qualities to Look for in a Spouse For a Happy Marriage

Four qualities of the faithful attraction that we want to apply to our lives:

Number One is Godly Character

What attracted this man and this woman together? Number 1, if you are taking notes, realize for faithful attractions we see this, number 1. They recognized in one another Godly character. The very first thing that drew them together was not that she was a hotty with a body, but instead that they saw Godly character in one another. 

Watch what she says that reveals this truth. Verse 3, she says this, “Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes.” Your what, would you say that next word aloud, your “name”. Okay you guys that are at our campuses, let’s try it again, he said your what, your “name is like” is like what? Is like “perfumed poured out”. Now, your version of the Bible may say, “your name is like purified oil”. 

Encouraging Words

She goes on to say, “no wonder the maidens want you, no wonder they all desire you.” Now, what in the world does this mean? In this day and age that we are talking about, baths were often hard to come by. And so what they would do is they would take this oil that went through a very detailed purification process, it was a purified oil or a perfume, and they would rub this stuff all over their bodies. You could only imagine how valuable this was if you couldn’t take a bath, and she says that’s what your name is like. It’s like this oil that’s been purified. Keep reading 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage.

Your Name is a Good Name

Your name represents a Godly character. Your name is like purified oil, no wonder all of the other girls want you. Because you have a Godly reputation. Ladies, the first thing you want to look for in a man is what is his reputation, what is his character, what is he known by and, ladies, if I could talk to you for a minute, one of the saddest things is, and I don’t know why this is, sometimes the nicer the girl, the more gifted and special a girl is, the more this awesome woman is willing to settle for a slug. 

Why is that? Why do sometimes the best girls go for the worst guys? 

He can be abusive to you and you say, “but you don’t know him like I know him.” Everyone else says he psycho guy, but you see potential. Ladies, you look for a guy with a Godly character. 

How do you know if someone has Godly character? 

One of the best pieces of advice that anyone ever gave me was this, they said Craig, take a look at their friends. If you are looking for a Godly girl, look at her friends because like attracts like. If you are looking for a Godly man, look at his friends. Who is he surrounded by? If he claims to be Mr. Spiritual Man and all of his friends just got out of prison, chances are something’s not adding up. 

Now, that doesn’t mean he won’t have friends with people who just got out of prison, but that means that he will have people that will speak directly spiritual truths into his life. The first thing we look for is a person of Godly character. 

Marry a Good Man

I overheard Amy talking to our girls one time, my older two girls they were asking questions about how’d you meeeeeet him, what did you do, how did you get to know each other, and Amy, didn’t even know I was listening, she said to the girls, “You know what girls, the most important thing is you want to marry a man like your daddy.” I thought, Ahhhh. [laughter] And she went on to say, “He is submitted to God and he has a good character.” 

And I was just….my head was…and she was… all of these great things. “You need to marry a Godly man just like your daddy.” And then she said, “It doesn’t matter what he looks like.” [laughter] Bomb, there goes my ego. You know, but the bottom line is that’s the truth. 

Keep reading 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage.

Protect Your Heart

You want someone with a Godly character, and let me make you a promise, hard core promise. You find someone who does not have a Godly character and you marry them, the odds are incredibly high that he or she will crush your heart. The very first and most important point of attraction must be a Godly character. Look what Proverbs says. Proverbs 12:4:

 A wife of noble “character is her husband’s crown” the Bible says, 3 “but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” 

Make Sure They Have a Great Reputation

So, let’s trace the progression. They meet and the first thing she realizes is his name is like purified oil. He’s got a great reputation. Because of that, she’s going to start opening up about her life. 

Now, ladies what she did not do is vomit her whole life story on him on the first date. She didn’t do that. 

Make Sure He or She is Trustworthy

She got to know him, and then as she trusted his character, she started to open up and talk about some of her insecurities. 

Keep reading 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage.

Number 2  They begin to build Godly trust.

They started to build Godly trust and I want you to watch and see what she says here in verse 5 and 6. She starts to talk about one of her insecurities. She says,

 “Dark am I, yet lovely, oh daughters of Jerusalem. Dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon.” 

Now, these curtains and tents were dark because what their purpose was to attract the heat of the sun during the day, to retain the heat so at night when it was cool, the people inside would stay warm. She says, “I’m dark like these tents.” 

Revealing Your Insecurities 

Verse 6, she reveals her insecurities. She says, 

“Do not stare at me because I’m dark, because I am darkened by the sun. ” She says my mother’s sons, or my brothers, were angry with me and they made me take care of the vineyards, I had to work outside all day long, she says, and then she says, “My own vineyard I have neglected.” 

Now, we are going to see all through this book that whenever she talks about her own vineyard, she is actually talking about her body. She said I had to work out in the sun, I’m sunburned, my skin is not as cared for as I would like it to be. Don’t stare at me. I’m a little bit insecure about this. 

You see, during this day and age people were much brighter than they are now. Nowadays, people pay good money to go and tan so they can get skin cancer at a very early age and look like a suitcase before they are 40. In that day and age it was considered more attractive not to look like leather and so she starts to reveal that she was insecure about her body.

Women are Insecure About Their Bodies 

Now men, here is something that is difficult for some of us to understand. When you meet a gal, no matter how beautiful and perfect you think she is, she is generally insecure about something, or multiple things about her physical body. 

One of your roles as you step toward marriage and as you are married, is to love her through her insecurities. 

And what she does is she says, “I’m insecure, my skin will never be the same again,” and we are going to watch as this man loves her through her insecurities. 

Keep reading 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage.

Fear of Rejection by Spouse

When I met Amy, I thought that she was about perfect. I realized though that she had a nagging insecurity, she was scared to death of being rejected. She had been trained by guys that guys will say one thing and then they bolt and so she had this fear of being rejected. 

God used me over a period of years through consistency, through integrity, through faithfulness, through faithfulness to love her through this insecurity. Now today, she is one of the most secure women I have met in my life. 

One of my greatest insecurities is the fear of failure.

 Because of that, I didn’t try a lot of things because I didn’t want to fail and that I thought people wouldn’t like me. She, over a period of time loved me not because of what I did but because of who I am, which empowered me to take the risks that have led us to where we are today. 

She helped love me through these insecurities. 

We are going to watch as this couple loves each other through their insecurities. They are building trust. 

Keep reading 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage.

Number4  We are going to practice Godly standards.

The first thing is Godly character attracted them. The second thing is they built Godly trust. The third thing is they established this…that we are going to practice Godly standards. We’re going to practice Godly standards. 

If we want to have relationships that are different than everybody else’s, and wouldn’t you agree that most marriages we see today are less than God’s best. If we want something different than what we see, we have to do something different than what others do, and that’s what she says. We’re going to be different. Watch as she sets the standard. Verse 7, she say’s this,

 “Tell me whom who I love where you graze your flock and where you rest your sheep at midday, why should I be like a veiled woman beside the flock of your friends.” 

She asked the question. Why should I be like everyone else? 

Why should I be like the veiled women that follow your friends around. Now, what in the world was she talking about? This may be shocking to you, but it’s very true. The veiled women would often follow around the men, and whenever convenient, they would offer themselves to the men in exchange for something. They would offer their bodies in exchange for something. 

Keep reading 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage.

Don’t Throw Yourself at a Man 

These women, they were hookers, they were prostitutes, and she is basically saying, you know what, every other girl may throw themselves at you, but I’m not going to do this. I’m going to have a different standard. If you want me there are some different rules involved here. If you want to have a Godly relationship, there must be a different foundation upon which to build upon, and she says we’re gonna have some different standards. 

So, here’s my challenge to you. If you’re not married and you want to be and you meet somebody special, you define up front here’s what we’ll do and here’s what we will not do, these are my standards, you want something else, go somewhere else. Very very simple.

 There are some things I will not do to keep you. I have listed three of them, you can add to your own list.

3 Things I Will Not Do to Find or Keep a Mate

1. I will not sacrifice my relationship with God ever to keep you. You draw me away from God, I’m not sticking with you. You expect me to put God on a shelf, I’m not sticking with you. A person will draw you closer to God or will draw you away. I only want someone who helps bring me closer to God and me bring her closer to God as well. 

2. I will not compromise God’s standards. I don’t care if everybody else in the whole wide world has sex before they are married God has a higher standard. God has a standard that motivates me to spiritual purity and I’m not going love my selfish sexual desires more than I love God’s standards and more than I love you. Because I love God and because I love you, I will obey His standards rather than my selfish fleshly desires.

3. I will not play house. Even though everybody else sleeps in the same bed and spends the night together and has sleep overs and lives together trying things out, if you want to have a Godly commitment with me, we are going to see you buy a ring, we are going to see you walk down the isle, we are going to see your daddy give you away and we are going to establish a covenant under God. There are certain things I will not do to keep you. 

You want a different result; you better have a different approach.

They practiced Godly standards. Now, watch the progression. Godly character, your name is like purified oil, it attracted them. The second thing is they built Godly trust. The third is they practiced Godly standards and number four is so, so important and here’s where they start growing. 

Number 4, They grew with Godly encouragement.

They grew with Godly encouragement. They built one another up. Remember, this gal she was insecure and 5we’re gonna watch all through this story as he builds her with his words and she builds him with her words. Look at verse 9. Here’s one of the greatest compliments in this whole story. He says this, “I liken you, my darling, to a mare harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharaoh.” Do not try that compliment at home. Okay? He basically says, “You’re a horse, babe.” Okay?

This verse needs a little bit of explanation. When they are talking about pharaoh’s horses or mares, his horses they were always white and to everyone in the community they saw these horses as god-like. They said these were the horses of the deity and they believed, right or wrong, obviously wrong, that these horses had something that was supernatural about them and he says to her, you are like this. You are like the purest taste of God on this side of heaven.

You are God’s greatest gift to me.

And he starts to speak the blessings into her life and she starts to blossom into the words that he says. In my own life, I’ll tell you right now, any area where I’ve been growing is generally backed and empowered by God speaking through Amy’s words. For example, I am incredibly involved with my six children. I don’t know any dad that is more involved than I am, but let me just tell you the honest truth, I’ve never been famous for being a nurturing dad.

I’m just not into, you know, changing diapers. I’ll let it go two or three poops without changing them. It saves money. Diapers are expensive. So that’s kinda my style. I thought when I bought the diapers and it said, you know, for 8-10 pounds, I thought that was capacity. [laughter] Baths for kids, they’re kids, it’s optional. Bathe them once every 10 days, spray ’em down. I’ve never been a real nurturing guy and this kinda bothered Amy.

Keep reading 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage.

Love and Encourage Your Spouse into Who They Will Become

She was meeting with her mentor and her mentor said, “You need to love him and encourage him into this.” And so she just started saying stuff like “you’re the greatest dad” and “oh you know you did this” and all of a sudden as she started to say these things, I started to oddly enough desire to do them. So much so that she must have had mega prayers going on, I honestly, I’m so changed that now I feel like one of my divine calls, as her husband, is the moment I walk in the door, I take over.

I do everything possible during that short season because she does it the rest of the time. I do every diaper, bath, bedtime story, snacks, dishes, I do it all. It’s part of my call to give back to her. She’s been so thrilled. She said to me a little while back, she said, “Craig, ” so goes, “You are like better than a professional dad.” Now, I didn’t know what that meant, but I like it.

I Became What She Told Me I Was

I said, “Tell me more, you know, tell me how am I a professional.” She said, “I could go and interview every dad in the state and I could hire the very best and pay them top dollar and you are better than a professional dad.” You know, that’s kinda what I was thinking too. Can I brag just for a minute as if I haven’t been already? Last weekend, she took two of our easiest kids to Tulsa, she was with our family at the Tulsa campus last weekend. She left me with four kids. We’re talking the hard ones. The baby, the next to baby, the next to baby and one of the easier ones. We have two sets of diapers going on.

Last weekend, I’ve got to tell you this, I preached all weekend long, I ran the church, I managed the whole household, I did every bath, pajama, diaper, I did it all…better than professional dad, completely and absolutely on my own [with the help of two babysitters] I did it all. Better than professional dad. What I would like to say to those who are married,

If you don’t like what you are seeing in your spouse, look at what you are saying about your spouse.

If you don’t like what you are seeing, look at what you are saying because generally he or she is becoming what you say. You show me a great and a Godly marriage and I will show you two people who know how to encourage 6 one another. You show me any marriage that is struggling and I guarantee every single time you will find far more discouraging words than you will encouraging words. Every single time. Some people will say, you know, I want to encourage but it’s just not very natural to me. Learn how to do it. Figure it out. People say well, you know, I feel these positive thoughts but I just don’t say them. You speak them immediately. The moment you have a positive thought about your spouse give life to it.

Speak these encouraging words.

We are going to watch throughout this book as they build one another up with encouraging words. Watch this, she starts to encourage him. This is great. Verse 12 and 13. She says this, this is hot, this is hot, this is hot. She says, “While the king was at his table my perfume spread its fragrance. My lover to me is a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts.” This is the Word of God. Let me read that part again. “My lover to me is a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts.”

Now honestly, I don’t know what a sachet of myrrh is, but I want to be one. I do, I really do. Resting between her breasts. This is a good day. Sorry, hope you come back next week. [laughter] Verse 15 and 16, the compliments continue. He says, “How beautiful you are my darling.”

Remember, she is insecure about her looks and he is saying, “You are a babe. How beautiful you are my darling. Oh, how beautiful. Your eyes are doves.”

If he is talking about her eyes, what’s he looking at? Her eyes. Guess what he’s not doing? Flipping a remote control, reading the newspaper. He’s looking at her. She speaks back to him, “How handsome you are, my lover.” What do we see? The foundation has been built with Godly character. There is Godly trust as they reveal their insecurities and love them away. They have got different standards from everyone else and they are going to build one another with encouraging words. Because of that, we see some incredible results from her perspective.

Let’s look at the results of what this has done in her life. Two things.

  • First of all, number 1, she feels special.

She knows that he loves her. Verse 1 of chapter 2. “I am a” what, say it aloud, “I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.” This is singular. “Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.” She said I know I am the one. He loves me. Remember in chapter 1, what did we see with her? She felt insecure. Chapter 2, what do we see? She feels special. Why? He has loved her into that feeling. Gentleman, one of the greatest things we can do is love our wives into that feeling of knowing how special they are. We cannot just do it with our words, we must do it with our actions. I was invited to play in three sports leagues in the last two weeks. I love sports. I turned them all down.

Why? Because I must not just verbally commit my love to my family but I must physically show it. Now, I’m not saying that it would be wrong for a guy to play in one sports league. Three, I’m going to tell you you are probably living on the extreme. For my life, for my schedule, for as many nights as I’m out, it would be wrong to spend one more night away from my family. That would be wrong. Some guy said, “But Craig, she’s got you right here. You know, you’re whipped. Why don’t you come out and play ball with us?”

Cause I would rather go home and play with my wife. She knows it. She feels special. Look how this Shulamite woman bragging on her man, skip down to verse 4. She’s saying he takes me out to the movies and the nice restaurants. Watch what she says, “He’s taking to the banquet hall and his banner over me is love.” He called me up and told me to get dressed up and to put on an extra squirt of perfume and he’s taking me out. He’s walking out, he’s proud to be 7 with me. What does she feel? She feels special. Why is it that guys make her feel special and then get married and then kinda just leave her there? We keep on communicating just how special she is.

  • The second thing that he does is he helps her to feel secure.

Write that down. He helps her to feel secure. She feels safe. Look at what she says in verse 3. “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men.” Now what does she say? Would you read that next part aloud? She says this, she says, she says what…”I delight,” to do what, “to sit in his shade.” Then she says, “His fruit is sweet to my taste.” Again, I do not know what that means and I refuse to research it. Okay? She says I delight to sit in his shade. Do you remember what she was insecure about before? What was it? Her skin being out in the sun. What does she say now? I’m in his shade. He is protecting me. I feel safe because he is protecting me. This woman feels secure. Guys, you wanna see your wife blossom into all that God wants her to be? Help her to feel absolutely and completely secure. What is our role? It’s threefold.

Are you writing this down? You wanna make her feel secure?

First of all, you are her pastor, not me, you

She will feel completely insecure if you are leading your family outside of the standards of God. She will feel completely secure if she knows that you as the spiritual head of your household has spent time in the presence of a good God. If you have sought the heart of God, she will feel secure. This does not mean you have to be a Bible scholar, or a theologian, or do exegetical studies every night over dinner. You don’t have to do that. You get to know God, you hear from God and you lead your family toward Him. She’ll feel secure. Secondly, you’re her pastor.

You are also her provider

This does not mean that she won’t help financially. This doesn’t even mean that if she is better at managing the books that she won’t do so, but you as the leader lead your family to financial stability and strength. You want to see a woman wigged out, you see a woman who is afraid of financial failure. You see debt leaking into your home, and you will see a person who feels very very insecure. Gentleman, you lead her to a point of financial stability and strength.

The third thing is, you are her protector.

You protect her physically. Not only that, but you protect her emotionally. You guard her heart. You guard the words that you say about her. You guard your children. You protect them. When you love them like that, let me tell you what, gentleman, she will love you back in a way that no hairy legged punk guy ever deserves. You love her according to God’s standards and you will watch as she blossoms into the most beautiful person that you could ever know. It is right. It is good. It is holy. I want you to see this woman whose been courted and attracted by Godly character, who has opened up about her insecurities and he has loved her through them, who has built one another and lived by God’s standards. Watch what she says next, verse 5 and 6. She says, “Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples.” What does that mean? Well in this day, they clearly believed that raisins or raisin cakes and apples were aphrodisiacs.

Let God Speak to Us

Yes. Put some more raisins in my cake. Strengthen me with that which makes me want him she says, for I am faint with love. Look at verse 6. His left arm is where? Say it aloud. His left arm is …under my head. His right arm does what? It embraces me. [laughter] What are they doing? They are in the love position. He is making his move and she is receiving him and she is ready to give her whole heart, her 8 whole mind, her whole life, and her whole body to God’s gift to her and it is right and it is pure and it is holy and it is of God.

If you want a different result, you have to take a different path. In the next few weeks, we are going to let God’s word speak to us. We will take a different path when we have God’s results, He and He alone will get the credit for what He’s done in our relationships. At all of our campuses would you join me together in prayer.

A Prayer for Your Marriage

Let’s all pray together. “God we ask that you would lead us to a different place, lead us to Your perfect will. We commit to follow Your standards.” At all of the campuses as you are praying, if maybe you haven’t paid attention in weeks past as we have been talking about that, let me make this very very clear what we are doing. We are inviting every person who is a part of our church, not just members, not regular attenders, every person who would like to grow in their relationships to make a six-week commitment.

I am inviting you to commit to attend every week if you are in town to commit to attend. If you are not in town, get the teaching on the internet, or whatever, and let God reveal it to you. I am asking you to commit to meet one time a week; we’ve got over 700 homes across the state that are host homes. Amy and I, each week, we are producing video teaching and discussion questions that you will let God do a work in your life. I am inviting every person on every campus to commit for six weeks. Now, here’s what you are going to be wrestling with.

God’s Blessing for Your Marriage

Time and whatever. You can’t find something that is more important than either preparing for marriage or investing in your marriage. For those of you that are not married, you invest in preparation so that you will be prepared to receive God’s blessing. For those of you that you are married, man there is not a single marriage that couldn’t get better and there’s some that better get better quick or you’re in big trouble. Gentleman, you don’t even pray about this, you don’t even talk to your wife about it, if you are feeling moved right now you say yes, we’ll commit, you lead her to it. Your marriage needs it. If you desire a Godly marriage, your answer is yes.

A Challenge

My challenge is for six weeks one meeting a week you commit to meet in biblical community with those around you. You say, yes God, I want to invest in my relationship I want to honor You. At all of the campuses right now, those of you that say absolutely no doubt I may not know where I’m going, I may not know who I’m meeting with, I’m in, I want to grow. I want all that God wants from me. Would you lift up your hands right now? All over the place. Fantastic. Hands up all over the place. Thank you guys for your commitment. God, I pray that you would us in the right groups. That you would surround us with the right people, God, that you would impart Your right truth to us. God, help us to prepare for the covenant of marriage. If it is Your will God, we want to be prepared for it.

For those who are married, God, I pray for miracles. I pray for healing. I pray for hope. God I pray for restoration. God I pray not only that people would meet their future spouses in these groups but I pray God that those who are married would find your truth, your hope and your healing as only You can bring it. God we thank you ahead of time for what You are going to do and we will be careful to give you all the glory. As you continue to pray today, let me just tell you a minute about marriage. Marriage is so important because it is a picture of God’s love and his relationship, His desire for relationship with us.

Scripture shows us that God is basically the groom who is pursuing us.

The Bible says that we as the church are His bride. God is a relational God. God did not create you because He needed you, because He doesn’t, He’s God. God created you, not because He needed you, but because He needed to love you. Can you see the difference? God is love, and because of that, he needed an object for His love and that’s why you are here. God is pursuing you right know. God is pursuing you with the power of His Holy Spirit.

His greatest desire is that you would know Him as He already knows you. What did he do to reach out to you? Well, He became like you. In the form of His Son, Jesus. God, in the flesh lived the perfect sinless life and died for us so that our sins could be forgiven. God so loved you that He sent His son Jesus. What do you do? You simply acknowledge that you are a sinful being and that your sins separate you from God. It’s a yes or no question.

Keep reading 4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage.

WE INVITE YOU TO BEGIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD THROUGH HIS SON JESUS. WATCH THIS VIDEO TO FIND JESUS.

God is saying will you give me your life. Will you surrender all to me? Basically, will you marry me is what God is saying. Your answer is very simple. Yes, I will give you my whole life through Jesus, or no, I reject You. Bottom line. It’s that simple. There are those of you at all of our campuses that God has brought here for this moment. He is proposing that you offer Him your whole life that you say yes to His will through Jesus Christ. Jesus, my answer is yes. Forgive me, transform me, be the savior and the Lord of my life.

At all of our campuses, there are those of you who are here for this moment. What’s your answer, yes or no. Those of you that would say yes, I’m all in, yes,

Jesus be the Savior and Lord of my life, my answer is yes, take my whole life. I want to belong to you.

That’s your answer today? Would you lift up your hands right now? All over the room, all over the room those of you saying yes. Both of you guys together right here, congratulations. Wipe those tears away. Sir, right here, praise God for you. Others of you saying that’s my prayer. Right back over here, yes is your answer, praise God for you. Right over here ma’am, God bless you. Yes, Jesus transform me. Let me just find you, eye to eye. Right over here in this section. Thank you, God bless you as you surrender to Him.

Others of you saying that’s my prayer today.

Jesus, transform me, forgive me.

Right over here. Thank you, saying yes. God bless you, sir, thank you. Jesus, transform him. Others of you. Right back here in the middle section as you surrender to God. Thank you. God bless you. Right back over here saying yes,\ Jesus be the Savior and the Lord of my life. God bless you. Others of you right back over here in this section. Sir, right back here. God, touch his heart as he prays right now. I surrender. God is pursuing you. Over here in this section. God is pursuing you, your answer is yes, I surrender.

Right back over here. Sir. God, invade his heart right now with Your supernatural love. Others of you, God is proposing to you, yes or now. Yes God, I surrender to You. God bless you ma’am as you say yes to Him. Others of you today. Others of you today. Praise God. Right over here, thank you ma’am as you say yes. God, touch her heart. May she never ever be the same. Others of you?

The Prayer of Salvation and Forgiveness

I’m going to ask our campus pastors, you guys go ahead and pray there and we are going to join our hearts together in prayer here. Would you just pray aloud with me. Pray, “Heavenly Father, I’m ready for You to have my whole life. I want to know You as You know me. Thank you for pursing me with Your Son Jesus. I invite Him to forgive me, to change me, to be the Lord of my life. My answer to You is yes. I give You my whole life. In Jesus’ name I pray.

For more about salvation and forgiveness please click here.

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4 qualities to look for in a spouse for a happy marriage, marriage

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If this video connected with you in some way, and you’d like to find out more about having a relationship with God and how His forgiveness and grace applies to you, a great place to start is praying the prayer below. The words themselves aren’t magic, but if you earnestly pray them and mean them, God will hear you! He’ll help you in ways you don’t understand, and we’ll help you find support and next steps.

The Prayer

Jesus, I don't know You, and I don't know what Your plan is for me. But thank you for coming to die in my place. I'm sorry for anything I've ever done wrong in my life. I don't understand how You could ever forgive me, but if You really would, I would like to accept your free gift of grace and complete forgiveness. Please come into my life and take control, and help me trust You. In Jesus' name I pray,

Amen.

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Click the CONNECT NOW button below to find a group of believers who can help you establish that relationship with God that you’ve only just begun.

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Take the next step and get to know others just like you who are looking for real answers. You will find amazing support and community, and answers to questions you may have not even thought to ask!

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