How Can I Be Set Free From Pain and Regret?

Most people will experience regret, or possibly even many regrets, throughout their lifetime – some may be small, some very burdensome.  Working through the fallout caused by a mistake can lead us to be motivated to learn from it, to grow as a person, and to thwart the likelihood of a repeat happening. We have heard it over and over “If we don’t learn from the mistakes of the past, we are doomed to repeat them.”  So, the question becomes how can I be set free from pain and regret? There is hope for you!

How Can I Stop the Pain of Regret?

 Regret grows from a bad outcome that could have been prevented, and can grow into being an all-consuming and destructive issue throughout a lifetime. If not handled in a healthy fashion, these occurrences may even lead to ongoing depression, pain and increasing regret.  But you are wondering, how can I be set free from pain and regret?

If we don’t learn from our mistakes, they become our regrets. If we continue to undermine our strengths by feeding the regrets rather than learning to work through these disturbing times while also rewarding our character growth, we may spiral downward.

We may be able to evaluate ourselves by observing our response to a loss, a regret, and to the accompanying pain. Are we giving in to defeat and dejection?

Or have we learned to manage and overcome setbacks, resulting in less fallout?  Are we using proven recovery techniques rather than succumbing to every hint of negativity?

 Are we the loser even in small failures due to our lack of preparedness? Or have we learned to wear the armor of God, to put on the shield of faith, resulting in the ability to stand firm in that faith. (Ephesians 6:10-18.)

No one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. Reach out for hope and light for the new pathway.

9 Ways to Deal With Regret and Move on With Your Life 

1. Give clarity to your thoughts.

Not just in expressing your feelings when all is bad with the thoughts such as I blew it, or I was pushed out, or it isn’t fair, or I am destroyed.

 Look squarely at the situation. Determine any part you may have played in the fallout. We only benefit when we acknowledge truth and identify our contribution to the failure. We can then accept the consequences without berating ourselves and melting into mush.  Rather, we are able to identify the restructuring process needed. We believe that we can recoup. We begin to formulate a new plan, a clear path.

2. Be honest with the degree of loss and the amount of personal hurt that is felt.

This may be a helpful cathartic in the first hours of recovering from a traumatic loss.  Let the tears flow early so that you can heal. Max Lucado says: “Tears represent the heart, the spirit, and the soul of a person. To put a lock and key on your emotions is to bury part of your Christlikeness.  Especially when you come to Calvary.” 

If we continue to wallow in defeat and despair, we are not learning from the experience

3. Forgive yourself

Accept God’s care and consolation; rise like the phoenix from the ashes.  Purposefully make better decisions in the days ahead that will enable soaring once again, even to new heights.  Stand up. Be open to new opportunities. It’s a new day! You can read about self forgiveness here.

4. Ignore the naysayers

Trying to hurt me by bringing up my past is like robbing my old house.  I don’t live there anymore. Let the saving power of the Lord Jesus Christ not only forgive you, but strengthen and sustain you as he empowers you with His Spirit. Listen to encouragers, positive commentators, and upward planners.

5. Seek out a trustworthy friend

We can’t make it very well on our own in this world. I find not only forgiveness but strength for each day through my relationship with   Christ.  These are the times that I need Him to be seen in me, to show His strength and love.  And, the truth is, we all need a savior.

 I am Woman (or I am Man)

         I am Chosen

         I have Purpose. 

         I have power available through Christ                 

          I will trust God with it all.

           I will inhale courage and exhale fear in His name.

The gospel of Christ, when taken seriously, should destroy any self-righteousness. Our strength comes from the Lord.  Ed Shaw puts it this way: “It’s hard to preserve your sense of entitlement when you know your sins deserve a death sentence, but instead you get eternal life for free at God’s expense.”  

Deepening this relationship is a good first step in understanding our identity and purpose. Having a close friend with this same understanding makes our lives even more blessed. 

6. The way we live our life speaks more loudly than what we say.

Those who do not believe in Jesus note what we who believe in Jesus do in our daily lives. They make decisions about Christ by watching us.  When we are kind, they assume Christ is kind. When we are gracious, they assume Christ is gracious.  

Therefore, I recommend praying that little prayer we can all breathe daily, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord my rock and my Redeemer.”  Psalm 19:14

Leaving regrets behind, we can help others learn to sidestep the treacherous, slippery slopes  in order to joyfully follow in the steps of our redeemer.

7. Care for yourself.  

Research shows that regret can cause physical pain as well as mental problems such as depression, poor sleep habits, and troubled interaction with others. 

Maintain a schedule that allows for adequate sleep and exercise. Eating a healthy diet and maintaining a balanced social-work schedule provide the environment that can promote recovery. This is an exercise in dealing with the current situation, but it is also a component of a lifetime of effective living.

8. Seek professional counseling if you are stuck in a rut. 

Or if you are experiencing depression. Help is available in person or online. Find help here.

9. Hope, Success, Joy, and a Future

Oh, the relief that comes when we are able to learn from a mistake, identify our weaknesses, and once again live life fully.  Stronger after each defeat, more adept at handling the hot potatoes of life, we are revived.  And more dependent on the confidence that is ours only through the grace of God.

There is Hope for the Helpless.  Success in the walk of faith.  Joy in fellowship with the Lord, and a meaningful future on this earth and then for all eternity.  May my life become a life of praise and compassion.

It’s a challenging life. Don’t miss out on the victories.  There is help and power available. There is hope for you. I hope this has helped answer your question “how can I be set free from pain and regret?”

Our help is in the Lord. Watch the Video “Great News for You” below. And please connect with us if you need help with your life or have any questions.


Watch this video!

If this video connected with you in some way, and you’d like to find out more about having a relationship with God and how His forgiveness and grace applies to you, a great place to start is praying the prayer below. The words themselves aren’t magic, but if you earnestly pray them and mean them, God will hear you! He’ll help you in ways you don’t understand, and we’ll help you find support and next steps.

The Prayer

Jesus, I don't know You, and I don't know what Your plan is for me. But thank you for coming to die in my place. I'm sorry for anything I've ever done wrong in my life. I don't understand how You could ever forgive me, but if You really would, I would like to accept your free gift of grace and complete forgiveness. Please come into my life and take control, and help me trust You. In Jesus' name I pray,

Did you pray this prayer?

So Now What?

If you really meant that prayer, the next step is to get you connected with other Christ-followers near you so you can grow, learn and become stronger in your faith.

Click the CONNECT NOW button below to find a group of believers who can help you establish that relationship with God that you’ve only just begun.

God loves you – specifically you! And because He does, you have a bright future! Trust Him to help you find it.

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Take the next step and get to know others just like you who are looking for real answers. You will find amazing support and community, and answers to questions you may have not even thought to ask!

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