Marriage is worth your vigilance and dedication in maintaining and guarding. It can be the most rewarding and joyous of earthly relationships. It is worthy of your best. There are many steps you can take to safe proof your marriage. Today let’s talk about how to be a good and loving wife to your husband.
A Loving Wife Guards Her Marriage
Guard your marriage with a jealous heart. Safe proof your marriage from divorce. A jealous heart does not mean envy/resentment. It means being solicitous or vigilant in maintaining or guarding something. It is the highest type of love. God said that we should not bow down to other gods for He is a jealous God and our love and worship must be for Him. And so we commit likewise to our marriage partner. Who is this God of grace and mercy?
Jealousy is defined in several ways:
- Resentful & envious – as of someone’s attainments – No, no – not what I mean.
- Fearful of losing another’s affection – No – that’s living in fear
- Troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry – No – that’s lack of trust
- Solicitous or vigilant in maintaining or guarding something – YES!
How to Keep Your Husband Happy
Not just to “keep him.” (This writer is a wife.) He may be such a man of commitment that he will stay in the marriage no matter the circumstances, so committed that he would never leave – and that’s great – but you want a marriage where you both desire to be truly present – where you both guard your love – where you both loathe anything that might weaken your relationship. Read on about how to be a good and loving wife.
Caveat: No, I didn’t just fall off the potato truck – I know what goes on in many relationships. And if you are in an abusive relationship, what I am saying does not apply. Get Yourself into a Safe Place! Protect yourself and your children. Get help. I have served on the Board of an agency designed to be a safe place to help abused women and children. I understand abuse and the dangers. This article is not for you.
How to Be Better Wife to My Husband
Jesus said, “I have come to give you life and that more abundantly.” Hey, marriage is your life now – He gives us Eternal Life, but also Life right now – is your marriage dead? Is it in danger? Let’s look at how that marriage can be reignited or just encouraged to grow. That union should be one of safety and happiness and satisfaction. It is worth your effort. Read on about how to be a good and loving wife.
Know the JOY of Being a Loving Wife
Marriage should become the union that makes each feel and know that they are Number One to the other. As the marriage grows and the love deepens, this joy in love should be the fact, the feeling, the essence of a good marriage. There are many ways of showing this, be it flowers and candy, or just the peace and security when we know we are #1. When I entered a crowded meeting room, I recall my husband’s raised eyebrow when he spotted me, even if he was engaged in conversation. I knew it meant: “There she is! All is well! Wonderful!” It’s the nuances of committed lovers that develop through the years. Read on about how to be a good and loving wife.
A Loving Wife Respects Her Husband
Regard your husband highly – with great respect and admiration. Hold him in favorable opinion – honor, revere, appreciate him. Opposite to this is: treat him with contempt.
Honor, praise, appreciate him and he will rise to the occasion.
There may be the tendency to point out the faults – take sides against him – belabor his weaknesses and the things he does not do, rather than praise him for the things he does.
Example of undergirding praise: “You are so wonderful to put up with those problems at work in order to take care of us – me, our home, our children, etc.” Never make him feel that he is not supporting you as you would like to be supported. He knows that! Let him know you think of him as a worthwhile individual – not just a guy you are stuck with. He will likely rise to the occasion. Read on about how to be a good and loving wife.
How is a Wife to be a Helper to Her Husband?
Help him become the man God intended him to be as husband and father. Be “jealous” for him – jealous that nothing ruin his life – your life – your influence – your home – your children. Teach your children to honor him.
Someone said that God made two types – male and critic. Said one guy: “I was made to feel I was somebody until the day after I said I do – since then all my faults are constantly pointed out to me.” Surely not my guy – not your guy!
A Good Wife Honors Her Husband
Marriage is an intimate relationship. Guard that intimacy. Guard the secrets between the two of you. Jealously protect that private union with which you have been blessed, that union with the number one person in your life. It is your safe place.
You can’t make someone love you – but you can become the woman who can be loved.
If there are serious problems in your marriage, seek counseling with your pastor or a marriage counsellor. Do you hold a grudge? Do you undermine him, making him feel inadequate? Do you disparage him to others by belittling his job although he is steady, productive, sober? Do you keep a list of the things he has said or done that upset you? These are the things that destroy love in a marriage.
But these are also the things God can heal in a marriage. That marriage is worth saving – do not walk away – rebuild. Read on about how to be a good and loving wife.
How Well Do You Know Your Husband?
Do you listen to him? Does he hear you? How is your communication? That word means verbal, nonverbal and visual communicating. There must be cooperation and understanding between the two participants before it can be dubbed communication. Respect for the other’s opinion, time, and feelings combine to make communication possible.
Communication can stimulate growth, comfort hurt feelings, and bring peace to a turbulent relationship. Most marriages break down over lack of communication. You have heard it said before – make time for date night. Listen to him. Don’t just complain. Don’t spend the time on neighborhood gossip. Gradually become his soul mate. Learn to know what troubles him, understand his fears, share his dreams and aspirations.
Does He Feel that He Is Taken for Granted?
Does he feel as if you make all the plans and he only foots the bill? Does he carry all the load of financial worries when you should be sharing those with him?
You needed a helpmate. He needs a helpmate. Be equally yoked. Add God to the equation – a thread of three is not easily broken.
Are you a strong woman? Are you a whiner? Are you playful and upbeat? Do you see humor in situations or only despair? Is every other man funny when telling a joke and your hubby “boring”? Well, to someone else he may not seem boring! Bolster that guy, show your pride in being his wife, support him – and the admiration will be easily returned. Read on about how to be a good and loving wife.
Make him feel needed – he is!
Make him feel like a man – he is!
But What About Me?
Hey, you say – But what about me? If I am the giver all the time – if I make the overtures? If I’m always to be the nice guy – what about me?
When we love as God loves us – sacrificially with a forgiving spirit – the blessings are always more than what we give. The presence of God’s spirit heals and comforts. The equation produces a product of unexpected and immeasurable value.
Am I a Good and Loving Wife?
Am I still the selfish young girl with perfectionistic dreams that entered the relationship? Or am I allowing God to chip off the rough edges and let them drop into the abyss of time – and mold me into a woman filled with love and grace.
Am I becoming a Credible Woman – does he know he can trust me? That he can trust me with his deepest fears, desires, dreams, callings? Have you become his place of safety, knowing that you will not put him down and never disregard him?
As we mature and become the Godly woman for which we are intended, we will like ourselves better as well. Becoming a better wife and one who is loved and appreciated results in our becoming a better person and friend to all we know. When we are fulfilled, we step into an even larger role of being the total woman to be blessed in this life and to bless others as well. Read on about how to be a good and loving wife.
God may not answer your requests exactly as you see fit, but prayer changes YOU! And it changes ME! God changed my “Iwantas.”
But, you say, my husband is not a Christian. Love him, love him, love him and let him see Christ in you. Your job is even more difficult. But your Heavenly Father loves you. Jesus the Christ died for you. The Holy Spirit lives within you. Do you think He doesn’t care? God also loves that guy and I pray that he will come to know Jesus, too – through you.
We invite you to watch the GREAT NEWS FOR YOU Video on this page if you would like to begin a true relationship with God through his Son Jesus Christ.
We are only responsible for our own choices. We cannot be saved for someone else. However, as a child of God, we are to be obedient to our Lord. Our joy comes in an obedient relationship with our Lord.
You may say, “I have blown it.” Hey, Jesus is in the business of forgiving. He picks us up when we are down, he lifts us up and gives us a new start. Leave your baggage at the door. Understand how forgiven you are. Understand what help you have in God. The strength you have in Him is sufficient.
Do Not Be a Foolish Wife
Foolish women do not know the value of what they have; have never grown up emotionally, have never matured in their faith, are not willing sacrifice for a higher calling. A foolish woman makes poor decisions, is not trustworthy, is not considered a safe and trusted confidant. Lord, help us not to be Foolish Women!
We can be so involved in so many good things that we miss being involved with the best. Everyone and everything receive our “sparkulating” best and Old Hubby gets the leftovers – the dregs – what’s left of us. Setting priorities is probably the most difficult thing to do in a marriage. But with the most rewarding results.
Do not neglect your mate – because then EVERYTHING COMES UNGLUED!
Watch the video below – we must all hear and rest in the promises of God in order to have a foundation upon which to build our marriage. With God’s help, the union between husband and wife can be rewarding, uplifting and joyous.