Feeling a lack of control in a situation can be incredibly overwhelming and disheartening. Be it a personal relationship, our work place, or even a global event, it’s only natural to want to have some sense of control over what’s happening. Without feeling at least a small amount of control, we become fearful, agitated, and apprehensive. However, it’s important to remember that not everything is within our control. And that’s okay. In fact, learning to be okay with not having control can be liberating and can help us grow in our faith and character. Does it seem an impossible feat to be okay in a situation where you are not in control? Let’s talk about overcoming the fear of lack of control.
Tips on How to be Okay with having No or Little Control in a Situation
Trust in God’s plan as you pray
One of the most important things we can do when we feel that we have no control is to pray and trust in God’s plan. The Bible tells us that God is in control of all things, and that he even has a plan for our lives. In Jeremiah 29:11, it says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you.” When we trust in God’s plan, we can have peace, knowing that He is working everything out for our good. This calls for a humble spirit, and a willingness to trust God. A resting in the Lord in the midst of confusion and chaos.
Focus on what you can control
While there may be things outside of our control, there are still things we can control. For example, we can control our attitude and our reactions to a situation. We can also control how we take care of ourselves and our own well-being as well as our actions and reactions. Focusing on what we can control helps us feel empowered and helps us to appropriate right behavior. Ultimately, controlling our reactions and presenting a calm demeanor steadies the course for us and gives us a step up in helping the situation not become completely out of hand. “A soft word turns away wrath.” It also calms the waters.
Let go of perfectionism
Are you regarded as a perfectionist? That nomer carries a heavy load and places a heavy weight on the perfectionist while perhaps antagonizing the remainder of the group. Many of us have a desire for things to be perfect, but the reality is that perfection is unattainable. When we let go of our desire for perfection, we then can focus on doing our best and accepting that sometimes thing still won’t go exactly as planned. This acknowledgement can help control our anger and frustration, making us more at ease when there are flaws in our perfectionistic plan and its execution.
Some practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and accepting things as they are. When we practice mindfulness, we can learn to be okay with what is happening in the present moment, even if it’s not what we want or expect. This can help us feel more grounded and breathe easier. It can help reduce our stress and anxiety. A calmer you prevails.
Be sure you have a support group
Whatever life throws our way, it is essential that we have a group who loves and accepts us as we are. A group that will help us work through the worst of situations. A group that gently points out our errors and lovingly helps us on the right path. When feel that we have no control, it can be helpful to seek support from others. This may be a friend, a group of friends, a family member, or perhaps your pastor. Sharing our frustration with them can help us process our feelings, and help us gain a new perspective on the situation. It also removes the feeling of loneliness. We need that support. It is not a sign of weakness; it is another cord in the rope of life that strengthens, curtails, and protects us.
Yes, it can be very difficult when we feel that we have no control in a situation. And, yes, it’s okay not to have control over everything. You are okay. When we learn to trust in God’s plan, focusing on what we can control, and seeking his guidance and that of other stable cohorts regarding things over which we do not have control, we can grow in our faith and learn to be okay. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” As we learn to trust, our faith develops and strengthens, our character becomes more grounded. We become adept at determining goals and actions.
Wise minds sustain order and wisdom stems from the Lord. We are never alone when the Lord indwells us. May we seek him. Watch the Great News video on below to learn of him.
