Hesitantly, she entered the room where our group of ladies gathered regularly for fellowship, for affirmation, for fun, for friendships for her kids and acceptance. Yes, the very essence of the group was that of kindness and edification. But even into that welcoming group, this young woman presented as agitated and uncomfortable. Because humans are not meant to be alone.
It was clear that she had great reservation about staying. With no eye contact, taking a seat near the door, pulling her coat tightly around her body, she withdrew from the crowd. Obviously, someone had sent her, hoping to find help for her. Assuredly, she was now doubting her decision to follow-through. But she was not meant to be alone. Humans are not meant to be alone.
You Were Not Meant to Do This Alone
Tami was very guarded in what she revealed about her situation. A natural beauty, albeit at this time she appeared drawn and isolated, she nodded and smiled appropriately. It would take one-on-one conversations later to understand her situation.
The thought that there is a world full of Tamis, hurting and feeling alone, who have no one reaching out to them or referring them for help, is troublesome. At least, Tami had found a resource – one of many that she would need – while developing resilience through the hope that she would find. She must take the first step.
Lonely Hurting People
Her story was similar to many others. The difference was that she and her husband had been quite well-known, an active and respected couple with three young children, more than adequate income, and both strikingly handsome. She had dropped out of college her second year to marry her recently degreed husband. He hit the business world with a flair and soon his income was quite remarkable. He made all the decisions. At his bidding, she became a stay-at-home mom and an attractive and gracious wife completing the look of success he so desired.
Tami was a loving mother, had been a devoted wife, and was active in the community. They and their friends participated in a church/school/community group, supportive of their children’s activities and seemingly all good things. However, her husband’s infidelity changed everything. Humans are not meant to be alone.
Broken and Alone
Tami entered our class, broken, lacking trust, embarrassed, beat down, and with a divorce in progress. No self-esteem, poor eating habits, trying to negotiate child support, childcare, and dealing with the numbness she felt. The numbness was coupled with no hint of motivation, no hope for the future, and devoid of any positive plans. No work history, no degree, no self -worth, no plans for a future, no thought of forgiveness. She was in a dark and lonely world.
Isolation Had Become Her Refuge
She avoided people. She felt set apart from former friends and avoided all contacts, all invitations. She withdrew from all connectiveness. Gradually she had become a loner, removing herself from even old contacts and was seemingly unable to take steps forward to make new associates.
Isolation is Not God’s Plan
We are not meant to live alone, to avoid all contacts, nor to be a non-contributor as we traverse this gift of life. In the beginning, God made woman to be with a man as a companion. And through the ages it has been proven that those persons, married or single, with a strong social connection are not only happier, but are healthier and more productive.
Humans Are Not Meant To Be Alone
Humans are not meant to be alone. We need connection with people in order to successfully do life. We need a friend that we can call upon at any time we have need, assured of that friend’s help. We need friends with whom to enjoy life, to hold one another up in the bad times, to challenge us to be our best. Isolation brings about depression, withdrawal, glumness, bad health habits, loneliness.
Who we choose to do life with makes a huge difference in our ultimate lifestyle and determines our sense of worth, our concept of joy, and our overall contribution to the betterment of all mankind. Yes, we need to be careful with whom we run. We lean toward becoming like those who feed us with unkind thoughts, and who live without the faith in and presence of the living Lord God. We must choose our close friends carefully.
We need friends of solid character to help us through our bad times, our sadness, our pain, and our losses. We need friends capable of accepting us as we are, rejoicing in mutual accomplishments, and in worthy endeavors. We need people who have grown stronger through their ups and downs because a friend encouraged them. As we grow stronger, we then are able to reach out to others who are struggling. Because humans are not meant to be alone.
Reach Out to the Lonely
Our group reached out to Tami. Loved her. Did not condemn. Did not feel the need to know the details. Felt the need to lift a fellow struggler from the dark world of despair, lack of self-worth, aloneness. Gradually, she began to reach out from her darkened stupor to accept the extended warmth and concern of others.
Slowly, her eyes began to show a sparkle of light and her demeanor was more relaxed. She was open to the love that was extended and came to know and understand that it is the forgiving and fortifying love of the indwelling Spirit of God that is beautiful and engaging, drawing her to Him, and back to a more vibrant and productive life.
Humans are not meant to be alone
We all need a friend that we can call at two o’clock in the morning if we have a crisis. We need a friend with whom we feel confident in sharing our deepest hurts and needs. We need a friend who will show up with Gatorade and tissues if needed. We need friends to see us through the dark and scary times of our lives just with their presence.
Proverbs 13:20 cautions us: “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” When we desire to walk the path of integrity, undergirded by friends, choose those friends wisely. We may need a new group of friends. The old saying of “Birds of a feather flock together” is at least cautionary. Choose a choice flock for your group of friends. We sustain one another.
Guard Your Friendships
Happiness and success, as well as the art of staying on the high road of life, is largely determined by the company we keep. Who you choose to walk with makes a difference in the outcome. It is worth every effort to extend oneself to be a friend as well as protect that friendship with a confidentiality that is pervading. Guard great friendships. Play together. Pray together. “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there will I be also.” A promise from Jesus in Matthew 18:20.
Tami blossomed in her friendship with our group of supporters. She began to understand her worth. The desire to build a new life, to prepare herself for a good job, to see herself as God sees her: I am chosen. I am woman. I am an individual. I am forgiven. I have purpose. I have power available in Jesus Christ. I will trust Him with it all. I will step out and fulfill that purpose with the confidence and joy found only in Christ. Help me, Oh Lord, my Rock, and my Redeemer.
What a joy for those of us who had walked with her in the depths of her despair to see her expanding her contacts, her goals and continuing to choose the right friends to sustain her on her journey. We rejoiced as her world expanded and vibrance returned into her lifestyle.
Do You Need a Friend?
Are you being the strong friend to others – or are you hesitant to step out? We all need someone. Let’s live life to the fullest and help the weak to grow stronger. May we find great happiness in being helpful as well as in being helped.
Let me encourage those of you feeling defeated and abandoned. Although your strength is waning and your hope is wavering, please know that God is not disappointed in you but is very near, waiting for you to trust him by faith. Jesus is entirely trustworthy. Watch the “Great News For You ” video on this page as it explains God’s gift of forgiveness and his promise of His Presence.
God Loves You
His love for you is amazing, encompassing and will sustain you and me. Oh, how Great is the Love of God for us, that he laid down his life for us in order that we might have eternal life as his beloved child. We will have the joy of living in Heaven with God when Jesus takes us home before the Great Tribulation.
Don’t miss out on the joy! Watch the Great News for You Video on this page and connect with us! God loves you and we care!