Ever wonder what it actually means to man up | how to be a man? Hi, welcome to Cuurio! My name is Rich and I want to talk to you about something today I think is an important subject. Let’s become great men together.
A group of my friends and I were watching a football game, and a player made a weak attempt at something on the field, and let’s just say we called into question his manhood, as it were. We used the phrase “this guy needs to man up!” I thought about that for a second – I thought about what does it mean to man up? Does just possessing a certain male anatomy mean you’re a man? What does it mean to man up | how to be a man?
Today we will be discussing the following:
- Man Up | How to Be a Man
- How to Be a Real Man
- What Does it Mean to be a Real Man
- Nine Things that Describe a Good Man
- Real Men Serve
- Real Men Lead
- Real Men are Ethical
- Real Men Control or Fight Fear
- Real Men are Strong
- Real Men Give and Receive Respect
- Real Men are Sensitive
- Traits of a Manly Man
- Best Example of a Perfect Man
How to Be a Real Man
I know I think I’ve seen other sporting events where I saw what I thought was a man’s response. Like I was watching this hockey game once in the Dallas area, and the Dallas player had collapsed in the tunnel on the way back to the locker room, and his heart literally had stopped. They had to revive the hockey player in the tunnel with the defib machine, and the players on the bench were openly concerned – some were even crying, because their teammate had just possibly died in the tunnel.
Well, the guy was revived and the first thing he said when he was revived, he looked at everybody standing over him and he said “can I go back into the game?” I thought that was a pretty manly response! But is that really what a man is? So I’m asking myself the question what does it mean to “man up?” Maybe a better way to ask it is, “what is the definition of a real man” or “what do real men do?” Read more
What Does it Mean to be a Real Man
What I’m about to say does not mean that women don’t do these things. In fact, they do do some of these things, if not all of them. But that’s another discussion. We’re talking about what real men do – what’s the difference between a boy and a man? Mature and immature? Grown-up men versus kids?
These are things that I have either observed in my life or they’re things that I’ve seen and I said to myself ‘I want to be like that’ or the opposite, ‘I don’t want to be like that.’ So these are some of those observations.
Eight Things that Describe a Real Man
1. Real Men Serve
First of all: real men serve. I know that doesn’t sound like something you’d hear, but to me a real man is someone who can serve other people. In addition to that, real men lead. Either they lead naturally, or they lead by necessity. I’m not saying a real man has to be a leader, but I do know that sometimes men have to take the lead. Sometimes women have to take the lead. But leading and serving do not contradict each other. Continue reading how to man up | how to be a man.
2. Real Men Lead
Real men lead sometimes by serving. I remember once I was at a football game – I was with my wife, and I was sitting there at a high school game. We were watching this young man lead, or I should say walk down the aisle with his date behind him, and the guy kept turning around and saying “Where do you want to sit? Do you want to sit here, or do you want to sit here…” and I could tell the girl’s getting frustrated, and I wanted to scream at the kid, “Look, just sit down or tell her ‘we can sit here, here, or here’ and sit down! She will let you know if she doesn’t want to sit there, trust me!”
I just wanted the kid to lead. It’s a simple thing just say, “we’re gonna sit in these seats.” And if she doesn’t like it, then get up and move later. But I could tell he was in need of some leadership. He needed to man up and just help that young lady sit somewhere!
I would say men also, as leaders, know where they’re going. Hopefully it’s in a good way, but they know they’re going in a good direction, and encourage people to follow them. I’ve known people who claimed to be leaders but I noticed that nobody was following them. In fact, I wanted to tell this one person that I knew, “look, you can call yourself a leader all day but if nobody’s following you, you’re just taking a walk!” So to me, real men both lead and serve by leading. Learn more about how to man up | how to be a man
3. Real Men are Ethical
Something else I’ve observed that I think real men do is: real men are ethical. They do the right thing. They do the right thing because it’s the right thing, not because they’re going to get something, not because it’s to their advantage (even though it might be), but they just do the right thing.
When I’ve interviewed for positions over the last 40 years of looking for work, when I describe my business model I say “I operate with ice: Integrity, Consistency, and Efficiency.” But integrity‘s at the top of the list. When I leave the company, what I want them to say about me is that I was honest. So I think a real man is ethical – they do the right thing. Read on to learn more about how to man up | how to be a man.
4. Real Men Control or Fight Fear
Also, real men control fear, or they fight it. I’m not saying real men don’t have fear, or real men aren’t afraid, but I think real men have figured out how to control their fears. In other words, something needs to be done, and I’m the person that needs to do it. I’m afraid, but I’m gonna fight my fear and I’m going to take care of business.
I have never been to war, and nor do I want to go – I’m probably too old anyway, nobody would have me! But whenever I’ve watched war movies, I cannot imagine and I can’t believe the manhood I see exemplified. When men who were possibly headed to their death forge ahead – and if you ask them, they say “I was just doing my job” – bullets are flying, bombs are bursting – but they’re forging ahead as they fight their fear… To me, there is a component of real manhood in that.
5. Real Men are Strong
Real men are strong. I don’t mean that they’re muscular necessarily, but I see a real man as someone with some degree of power that they’ve put under control. The word meekness gets bad press, but really it just means I have the strength and the power to overthrow you, but I choose not to. I choose to be kind. I can whip you physically, I can whip you intellectually, I can whip you emotionally maybe – but I choose not to.
The picture of the man that always comes to my mind is Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid. He was a short little guy who could probably whip most people – even the Cobra Kai people – and whip them pretty soundly. But he said “I only do this to defend myself, I don’t do this to overpower people.” So I see a part of real manhood is strength – strength which says “I can control this, and I can control you, but I choose not to. I choose to use my strength to help people, not to hurt them.”
6. Real Men Give and Receive Respect
Part of being a real man is also something called respect. Real man give respect, and real men receive it. You can’t command somebody to respect you, but a real man receives respect. People have figured out by your character, by your life, by what you do, that this person needs to be respected.
Now I also said they can give it. Sometimes my pride wants me to not respect somebody – for stupid reasons usually – but for whatever reason, I don’t want to give this person the respect that they deserve. But you know what? A real man can give respect as well as receive respect, in my opinion. Read on for more about how to man up | how to be a man.
7. Real Men are Sensitive
Now here’s a weird one: real men are sensitive! Now by sensitive, I don’t necessarily mean emotionally crippled or anything like that. I just mean that a real man can treat people carefully or delicately if and when they require it. I’m an old rock-n-roller – let’s say I go to a pawnshop and I buy a cheap guitar for $10. I’m going to treat that guitar a certain way. But if you were to give me a Jimi Hendrix-played fender Stratocaster, or a Gibson Les Paul that Eric Clapton played, I would handle those with a much higher degree of sensitivity, because they deserve it.
If I had a Honus Wagner baseball card (currently selling for $3.2 million!), do you think I would treat it with a little higher degree of sensitivity? You bet I would! So real men are sensitive, with regards to people. Sometimes some people are more delicate, but that doesn’t mean they’re less valuable. It just means they’re more delicate. Just like you would treat a rare piece of china.
8. Real Men Sacrifice
Real men also do something called sacrifice. A real man can say no to himself to benefit someone else. Those of you that I’ve been in a relationship with, you know what this means: sometimes I have to say no to what I want and for the sake of my relationship with another person. I sacrifice something – I compromise. Compromise is not a bad word. Compromise means that I will give up something & the other person gives up something, so that the relationship prospers or benefits.
To me, real men are able to sacrifice; are able to say no to themselves, especially with regards to relationships with our friends, with our spouses, with our children. Real men have sacrificed for their country, for noble causes. I hate to keep going back to the war thing, but real men jump on grenades for the sake of their brothers. But, real men also take out the trash and do dishes! Not something that I like doing, but because I want to sacrifice for my family I’ll do stuff like that.
Those are just some thoughts about what I think a real man is. Now if you’re a woman reading this, you might be thinking to yourself, ‘oh, these people don’t exist!’ Well, first of all of course not! If I were to describe what a real woman is, there are probably men who say they don’t exist either. But these are things that I think men should strive for. It takes a long time to have all of these characteristics, or even some of them over a lifetime. Men have to mature just like women do.
So what I call a real man is someone who makes an attempt to start moving in this direction. I am encouraging other men in my life to to do the same things. I’m asking them to follow me as I try to be be a real man. Some men have all of these things, some have some of these things – I just try to strive for them as best I can.
Traits of a Manly Man
Lastly – I was thinking of an example of a real man that wasn’t in football game or in a battle… We just passed Christmas, and I always watch It’s a Wonderful Life, an old old old movie about a man named George Bailey who all his life wanted to be an explorer. He wanted to travel the world and do great things, build big buildings – but because of other people in his life, the needs of his family, the needs of his brothers, he stayed home while other people got successful.
He got to a point life where he pretty much said ‘I don’t necessarily want to kill myself, but I wish I’d never been born.’ The whole point of the movie is showing what would’ve happened to the world if this person, George Bailey, had not been born. To me he exhibited so many of these traits of being a real man – and I won’t spoil the movie for you in case you’ve never seen it – but he showed all kinds of these traits, while never having to shoot a weapon, fight on the football field or whatever else.
But he sacrificed; he led; he served. He was honest, he was ethical, he gave respect, people respected him. He was sensitive but was powerful in his own way, he could take control of his emotions. He did things that he might’ve been afraid of doing, but he did them anyway because someone else needed it. So that’s my idea what I think a real man is.
Best Example of a Perfect Man
There is one man that I know personally that I think has all of these qualities, and if you’re wondering who is this magic person – well, his name is Jesus Christ. And if you want to know more about him, there are other places you can go to on our website to find out about Jesus and his mercy and grace. But to me, Jesus Christ was the best and most real man that I’ve ever had come into my life.
If you would like to find out more about Jesus, we invite you to watch the GREAT NEWS FOR YOU Video on this page.
Anyway that’s what I think a real man is. I hope this was helpful – we hope to see you again here real soon at Cuurio, and that you can find something that might help you with your walk through life. Thanks very much.