My Baby Died of SIDS in My Arms and I Need Hope

My heart is mushy today.  Today is our oldest son’s 31st birthday. Out of those 3 decades, he has only spent his actual birth day with us.  At six weeks old, he died of SIDS while in my arms. Therefore, he has always experienced the best of the best holy parties with Jesus shooting the confetti cannon.  Can you imagine the clean up of those shindigs?  I’m sad.  Not for him, but for me.  Just because I miss looking at  him.  He is actually in the safest place any of our kids  could be, the strong arms of Jesus. You searched “my baby died of SIDS in my arms and I need hope. I have been where you are. You are not alone. You are grieving and you need hope.

Hopelessness

 Many years, his death day falls around Easter and I often feel an embarrassingly haunting  comfort of God’s only son dying around the same time mine did.  I think God must feel all the feels and know all the depths of sadness and sometimes hopelessness. Did God ever feel hopelessness?  Hmmm, I doubt it. He knew how it would all turn out. It didn’t negate the tragedy though. I guess I really haven’t tasted hopelessness either since I know my son will eventually be reunited with us in eternity. 

My baby died of SIDS in my arms and I need hope. Jesus understands. He can heal. God loves you. Find out more here.

How Does SIDS Affect the Mother?

I reluctantly admit, I feel a little envious God’s kid rose on the third day. Not jealous ugly, just awwwww, I wish that would’ve been our story too.   Of course, I don’t want the weight of the cross and sins of the world on my little Nick’s shoulders, just the resurrection part. Just the Easter lilies, communion celebration, pretty dresses and ham dinners with relatives.  

All these things remind me of my tiny humanness and finite thinking  I don’t want the death and dying of anything in my life, but I want the redemption and glistening newness!  I’m a farm girl and know the seed has to die for the plant to live, how much more clearly can it be explained? What am I missing here?

 I only buy the plants from the greenhouse so I can bypass that whole seed experience. Every year, I pick out colorful seed packets of tomatoes and assorted flowers, shake them for that noise and ponder the what ifs? and put them back. What if it doesn’t work? eWhat if it rots in the dying process? What if I don’t water it enough to bring it back to life. I really don’t trust the system or the unfolding drama of the bud to sprout. 

How Do You Heal after Losing a Baby?

What does that say about other things in my life? Can I trust the progression of life and the proceeding of the holy spirit in my life and others to make dead things new?  I was talking to a friend today and she can see the redeeming happening in my life and I can clearly see God moving and working in hers, although we both remain blind to the forward movement in our own. We pinky promised we would continually remind each other of the Waymaker, Promise keeper, Light in the darkness, Confetti cannon master. The one who redeems all things.  All the time.  Celebrating my kid’s birthday and Jesus is RISEN!

Read more from Cori about waiting here.

If you would like to experience the joy and healing of knowing Jesus Christ, we invite you to watch the GREAT NEWS FOR YOU video on this page. My baby died of SIDS in my arms and I need hope. Jesus understands. He can heal. God loves you.

20 Ways to Heal After the Death of an Infant

  1. Seek professional support: Reach out to a therapist or grief counselor to help you navigate through your emotions and the healing process.
  2. Join a support group: Connect with others who have experienced a similar loss, share your stories and feelings, and find comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
  3. Memorialize your baby: Create a memory box, plant a tree, or hold a memorial service to honor your baby’s life.
  4. Take time to grieve: Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions without judgment or guilt.
  5. Practice self-care: Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being by eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep.
  6. Connect with your partner: Grieve together and support each other during this difficult time, as you both process your loss.
  7. Lean on loved ones: Don’t hesitate to ask for help or support from friends and family members who understand your pain.
  8. Journal your thoughts and feelings: Writing can be a therapeutic way to express your emotions and track your healing journey.
  9. Seek spiritual comfort: If you are religious or spiritual, seek solace through prayer, meditation, or attending religious services.
  10. Read books about grief and loss: Gain insight, understanding, and coping strategies from experts and others who have experienced a similar loss.
  11. Acknowledge milestones and anniversaries: Honor your baby’s memory by acknowledging their birthday, the anniversary of their death, or other significant dates.
  12. Create new traditions: Start new rituals or traditions to remember and honor your baby’s memory during holidays or special occasions.
  13. Volunteer or donate in your baby’s memory: Support organizations or causes that are meaningful to you and your baby, helping others in need.
  14. Express your emotions creatively: Channel your emotions into art, music, poetry, or other creative outlets to help you heal.
  15. Educate yourself about SIDS: Learn more about SIDS to better understand your loss and potentially help raise awareness.
  16. Practice mindfulness and meditation: These techniques can help reduce anxiety and stress, while promoting healing and self-compassion.
  17. Allow yourself to experience joy: Give yourself permission to experience moments of happiness without feeling guilty.
  18. Be patient with yourself: Healing takes time, and it’s essential to recognize that everyone’s grief journey is unique.
  19. Consider professional help for other children: If you have other children, consider seeking professional support to help them cope with their grief and emotions.
  20. Seek hope and healing through faith: For many, faith provides strength, comfort, and hope during the grieving process. Explore your beliefs and trust in the promise of healing and redemption.

Healing After the Loss of an Infant

Healing after the loss of an infant is a deeply personal and challenging journey. Remember that you are not alone and that there is hope. If you would like to find comfort and redemption through faith, we invite you to watch the video on this page to discover how much God loves you and the incredible gift of redemption He offers through His son, Jesus Christ. Embrace the love, support, and hope available to you as you navigate this difficult path towards healing.

GREAT NEWS

Watch this video!

If this video connected with you in some way, and you’d like to find out more about having a relationship with God and how His forgiveness and grace applies to you, a great place to start is praying the prayer below. The words themselves aren’t magic, but if you earnestly pray them and mean them, God will hear you! He’ll help you in ways you don’t understand, and we’ll help you find support and next steps.

The Prayer

Jesus, I don't know You, and I don't know what Your plan is for me. But thank you for coming to die in my place. I'm sorry for anything I've ever done wrong in my life. I don't understand how You could ever forgive me, but if You really would, I would like to accept your free gift of grace and complete forgiveness. Please come into my life and take control, and help me trust You. In Jesus' name I pray,

Did you pray this prayer?

So Now What?

If you really meant that prayer, the next step is to get you connected with other Christ-followers near you so you can grow, learn and become stronger in your faith.

Click the CONNECT NOW button below to find a group of believers who can help you establish that relationship with God that you’ve only just begun.

God loves you – specifically you! And because He does, you have a bright future! Trust Him to help you find it.

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Take the next step and get to know others just like you who are looking for real answers. You will find amazing support and community, and answers to questions you may have not even thought to ask!

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